i feel weird.
i feel weird. im sad but im happy. im freakin out but im calm. im angry but im glad. i hunger and i thirst.. but i feel that im very fortunate to have everything i have now. i like coming to usa but sometimes(or most of the time) i hate it. i love my parents but sometimes i just hate them for giving birth to me. i want a boyfriend but i do not......argh.. this world is a terrible place.. a place where looks take up 70% of how ppl think of you. where a hundred good deeds and one mistake makes you a bad person.
Life is not fair.. nothing ever is.. you practice like hell for one piano sonata contest.. you did GREAT! i mean. you didn stop didn do anything wrong.. just played the left hand a little louder cuz the piano is terrible.. and then you dun even get an honorable mention.. ur mama who always said you did badly tells you you did great! your dad took out the camera ready to flash when you get the first prize.. and you didn get it. NO I DIDN GET ANYTHING OK. its not fair.. everything was good. that was wat the judge said. it was my attire. i didn bow towards her, but instead to my parents. im supposed to get first.. but SHE decided to give HONORABLE MENTION, 1ST, 2ND, and 3RD to the people who SUCKED. Corrrection. the girl in 2nd place was great. THE OTHERS SUCKED LIKE A BUNCH OF *&%#!^&$.. im so frustrated.. everyone wants to make mi feel like a failure. but i wun.. i still wake up everyday in a good mood.. i try to make the best out of each day.. but usually by the end of the day, i cry myself to sleep. but no, i wun let that discourage me. i will try my best to get everything i want. to get rid of the prejudice towards me. to make ppl respect me...
Hebe jOtTeD dOwN heR tOtS aT 9:44 午前
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