土曜日, 7月 16, 2005

だいじょうぶ！

While being a good girl and starting to study for my test on Tuesday just now, I thought about everything that happened. It's not really that bad actually. It's better to know that he doesn't like me than to waste so much time thinking of him wondering if he does. And I actually feel much better now than the days that I try so hard to hang out with him. I know what I want to do. Things are not unpredictable and scary like they were when I liked him. I know what I'm doing and I'm back in control.

I've got a friend who's leaving to go to Japan for a year on the 21st so tonight's her farewell party. I'm going to have fun and take lots of pictures. I'm going to put on makeup too haha. I want to look pretty for pictures.............................. hehe...

I think, for the past few days, I had forgotten what I tell myself to do everyday. Be optimistic! I had been looking only at the dark cloudy sky, forgetting about the bright cheerful sun behind it. But now, I've pulled myself together and I learn. I may not be liking someone for sometime cuz I don't want to 1) waste my time, 2) waste my tears, 3) waste my energy. You never know though. Well, at least, I never know.

I was going to apologise to Kaz yesterday but he didn't open his door when I knocked. I talked to my oniichan and he's really nice and yea. I know it was my fault. My oniichan said that he was proud of me and I'm happy that he is. All I want to do now is ask Kaz if we could forget everything and still be friends. I still like him but I think I would like to like him more as a friend now. I guess my dream of having a Japanese boyfriend will not be fufilled yet. Haha.. But it's ok man.. It's not like I live for guys. I live to have fun.

Hebe jOtTeD dOwN heR tOtS aT 11:10 午前