逃げた魚は大きい

.

I kicked my cupboard today. Ok not cupboard. Cabinet. Gosh. What's the difference? And I hurt my foot very badly. I can't walk properly now. I'm so stupid. Why did I kick the cabinet? I was angry cuz the dye came out of one of my red shirts and stained 2 other white shirts. I wouldn't have minded but both shirts were only partially pink. And I don't know what happened to the washer in my brother's apartment but my shirts became fuzzworlds. Full of fuzz all over. Dang.

I went swimming, which was good, but alone. It sounds kinda pathetic but it actually feels good cuz I swam more than when I usually do with my friends around.

Yea. Friends. I don't think I'll ever be able to find close friends like the ones I had in Singapore again. It sucks terribly. The whole group went to some river or something today. And left me alone here. Well, not the whole group, but most of them, and my good girlfriends went to. And they told me yesterday they had to STUDY. Study shit in the river la. I was terribly disappointed but I don't think I'm going to let them know of my disappointment. It's ok man. Just leave me alone, friends.

Well I think, cuz I'm different. I mean, the whole group's Japanese. I guess I'll never be able to blend in yea. I'm moving out of the Commons soon. The Tuesday after this one to be exact. Ah.. I don't know. I really want to feel like how I felt when I was in Singapore. I had close friends who cared. Maiko cares, I think. Maybe not. I don't know. What's wrong with me? I'm having problems following my motto nowadays. It sucks horribly.

What I really really wish for now is the impossible: To go back to how it used to be. How life was when I was back in Singapore. When I was ignorant yet happy at the same time.

Hebe jOtTeD dOwN heR tOtS aT 8:25 午後