逃げた魚は大きい

what am i doing?

I have no idea what I'm doing. It used to be me willing to give everything to make my mummy happy. Now there's someone else. I'm willing to give everything to make him happy too. As long as he's happy, I'm glad. I'd do anything, really anything for him to be happy. What is wrong with me? Guys ask me out here and there but I dont care. I dont want any attention from anyone except my mummy and him. It's already difficult enough with my mum alone.. Why bring in another? I really wish.. I dont know. I wish that.. I want to be happy!!!!! Why is it so fucking difficult? What did I do wrong? I'm so selfish. I shouldn't want to be happy. I wana make my mummy happy. If she's happy, I'm happy. I wana make him happy. It's so difficult. I hate crying so much. And I didnt cry. I followed my rules.. Just the other day. I couldn hold it in but I didn really cry, just a teardrop or 2. But now whenever I think of it, it seems like we're never gona be together. And It's difficult to hold it in.

I think love is really painful.

Hebe jOtTeD dOwN heR tOtS aT 6:19 午後