逃げた魚は大きい

My Brother

After thinking about it for a while, I've realized that my brother is actually an awesome brother. The one and only thing that I don't like about him is his untidiness, but he's trying to get rid of that bad habit, which is good. Cuz, he's really a great guy. He's smart, funny, friendly, a little racist but who cares about that man.. Everyone's racist.. If he gets thinner like he was before, I think he would be any girl's dream guy (except me cuz I'm his sister). He's not only all that, when it comes to boy-girl relationships, I think he's really a romantic guy (if you know just a little bit of how he treated and treasured his ex, you'll think so too). And he has good fashion sense too. When I returned to Sg Summer 2004, I had him help me choose shoes and stuff like that.

And of cuz, the great big scratch I got on his car. It was really really really really really bad. I'll take a picture and post it up. Really bad. And he's not angry, he just wished it didn't happen (according to his blog and how he acted when I told him about it). To say the truth, if I were him, I would be like ''fuck you Kristy! Don't talk to me anymore and gimme money to fix that stupid scratch and clean my room and cook for me till i graduate!"

I think that I'm such a terrible sister. I really hope that I'll be able to make it up to him. I've been rude to him quite a few times, actually a lot, sometimes I get really pissed when he was late in picking me up after work.

To say the truth, I think that I'm such a terrible person. I hurt so many people, and I keep blaming people when life begins to suck. I wana say sorry to LONEDEATH (if you ever come visit here), I was really rude and I was just.. I duno.. I wasn't in a good mood. You're my friend, and I treasure you. I'm so sorry. I think I kinda ruined your day, so I'm kinda glad that it was night in Sg and maybe you'll feel better in the morning. I promise to meet up wit you when I return to Sg again.

Sometimes, I just think that I don't deserve to be anybody's friend. I'm lazy. Sometimes I make excuses cuz I'm too lazy to go out with them. I'm really selfish. I have to get what I want, or i'll be pissed, and then evil thoughts will come to my mind. That happened quite a few times recently, and I really wana stop that. I really wana be a good person. I really hope that I can change, make it up to everyone. I wana apologise to everyone whom I've hurt before. I am really sorry. I guess the person I hurt the most in my life is my mom, and I'm trying hard to make it up. And the friend I hurt most in my life is Chantal, and she's kinda like my best friend now. Well, I duno if she considers me as her best friend, but I consider her as mine.. And I really hope to be able to make it up to her as well.

Well, I think I should stop being in this terrible mood. I'm going to try to make myself happy by making up to everyone I've hurt before. I'm going to stop myself from feeling ugly.

Hebe jOtTeD dOwN heR tOtS aT 6:26 午後